annafdd

This morning I went out in the frigid but gloriously sunny air, and before long stuff was falling on my face. Frozen stuff. By the time I turned into Kilburn High Road, the white frozen stuff, tiny round hard pellets, were swirling everywhere, but the sky above was blue.

I don't know either. But it was beautiful and strange.

I had great fun yesterday with Avenue Q, although I liked the first part more than the second. The puppeteers were weird and great.

The cats were playing this morning, doing that lower-the-front, wiggle-the-rump act that they do when they are preparing to jump on each other. They like the new Beaucarnea a lot. Zip doesn't talk to Jam, but talks to me, while Jam is still trying to convince Zip that she's her mom, and addresses little trilling meows at her when they are chasing each other.

Yesterday I got an email looking for volunteers with a visit with one of our dogs to a day centre in Camden, and since I had nothing to do and a car, I offered to go.

I was with another volunteer, a very nice and smart girl from Seattle, and a dog named Scruffy who looked the part and was completely lovely.

It was a great sunny day, the centre was cheerful and the patients happy to see us and the dog. It was a lot more fun that I thought and chatting (mostly about animals) with the old people great fun.

Scruffy, who is a small terrier who is already reserved and will go to a good home tomorrow, would sit on the other volunteer's knee while we were driving and when we were stuck in traffic I would scratch his head and he would close his eyes in an expression of complete bliss.

I am therefore in a great mood, and certainly better than yesterday, when one hour of traipsing around the Scrubs with Bailey left me completely exhausted and with an headache. Bailey is a lovely and very obedient animal, and managed to let himself be transported on my car after much fun in the mud without leaving any trace on the seat - but I was still completely shattered.

Obviously I need to keep this exercising business up, but I was very annoyed at the fact that I haven't been able to built up much stamina yet.

Today I was at the Mayhew for my weekly shift, which was unusually hard. A lot of cats had gone on to be adopted, and there were as a result a lot of cabins to be scrubbed and sterilized so that the next cat or cats can be placed there. So I spent three solid hours scrubbing hard and squeedgeing water off and then towelling stuff dry.

Good exercise, and strangely pleasant - when I get going, I deeply enjoy cleaning and sorting out, and seeing the little steel steps become nice and white again was soul-lifting.

As was the sudden Great Cat Turnout. For a while when I started it seemed like lots of cats were there to stay: week in and week out the same hopeful feline faces looked at me from the cabins, all demanding love and attention. Then, after Christmas, they were all gone. Old cats, three-legged cats, sad cats - all adopted out. Only one is left, but he is... well, a special cat. I like him, but he tends to go slightly mad. Jellybean is also there, but I doubt she will be there for long. I suspect that the reason she hadn't been adopted was that she was due for spaying, which happened last week.

So - this morning I had the glorious feeling that I was making a contribution towards something that actually worked, that actually rescued cats (and presumably, dogs) and not simply wherehoused them. (Of course, there are the jungle</striketrough> garden cats, but theirs is by no means a bad life either.)

Apart from that, but connected to it, I feel I am getting fitter and fitter every day. I'm not losing weight but then, despite the Wii's pushing, that was never my aim. What I want is to feel strong and easy in my body, and if this means that it has to lose some mass, that's fine, but if it can do it at my current mass it's fine by me too.

Today I managed to do the whole press-up and side stand exercise on the Wii Fit Plus that I had found absolutely ridicolously impossible when I first tried it. It wasn't easy, but I completed it, something I wasn't even remotely able to do a month ago.

The amazing thing is that for maybe the first time in my life I am having fun exercising. No, I take that back: I had fun doing karate back when I was in college, although I never progressed beyond a white belt. But in high school, boy how I hated PE. And now I have to make an effort to stop doing exercise after exercise on the Wii. A lot of things contribute to this - the threshold is very low, since the gym is in my living room and I can get there in thirty seconds without even having to change. I never had problems doing stuff in front of people, but I did have problems with the enforced sociability that comes out of being in a gym together, where you are supposed to chat and interact. (Part of the fun of doing karate was that I managed to make friends in my class).

And then there is the endorphine high and, of course, the reward of getting better and better at the exercises. The Wii chides you a little bit, but never as much as some of the teachers I've had, and is prodigal with praise as well. And anyway, even if it is a computer simulation, it is a computer simulation that spends all its time with you, which is rewarding in itself.

And so - I have signed on for a 10k run in July, to raise funds for the Mayhew. I can't run 10k now, but between now and July I'm pretty confident I can do it, if I am careful not to injure my back again. Hence the yoga and muscle training on the Wii.

I read a lot of things about running barefoot, which are very interesting, but I am not ready to put my bare flesh on London's pavements, so I am looking into making myself some sandals. Anyway, not in February I don't think so. But yes, it does look like running with cushioning shoes is not good for your feet, so I had a look at the new Nike free shoe, and I concluded that there must be a better and cheaper solution than a £65 shoe that seems pretty cushiony to me anyway.

I am also looking for Yoga lessons, and there are a couple of centres near me that seem very promising. Yoga is interesting for me because it is non-competitive, and promises to be, if you do it right, not boring. But we'll see.

I also spent some time yesterday researching an essay for my Psychology course at the Birkbeck Library. It was very peaceful and productive, and I decided that I should do it more often. I am not so sure about simply taking up a seat to read and concentrate though. Also, I was a bit unhappy with the library itself - I was looking for a particular article by Karl Popper and I was surprised to see that there is precious little Popper in the Birkbeck library. On the other hand, they had several copies of the Ernest Nagel book I also was looking for. Most importantly, I must not let myself be led astray by several years of Epistemology and write 1500 on what is the scientific method that boil down to "it's REALLY complicated".

The roof got fixed on Monday - there was something incredibly upsetting and unsettling in a roof that doesn't keep the rain away. It is a sort of betrayal of your house, and I couldn't stay in the computer room even when it wasn't raining and the row of buckets was silent.

The cats are happy, and Jam in particular seems to be a lap cat that is - yet - afraid of laps. With time, I think she will end up curled on me.

It seems that lately my mind is chiefly occupied by trying to get my body into shape. I have this idea that if I get fitter my fatigue, sense of dullness, and general going on slow and dull, would vanish.

It's probably not true, but hey, exercising can't hurt, and the endorphines are nice.

All the same, I feel a generalized ache in all my body that I am starting to feel offended by. Those muscles should be getting used to it by now.

I have been wiiless for two days, but I went for a healthy run yesterday, in the mud and water and snow of Epping Forest. Very nice. Today, instead, I spent several hours keeping a promise to Alex of folding the various clothing in his bedroom. It took me forever, partly because there were a lot of t-shirts and several dozen socks that had to be reunited with their lost twins, but partly because my back started aching after a while. This annoys me no end - the more I try to exercise, the more my stupid spine sabotages me.

Even if the Wii is not comparable to real exercise in a gym, it is obvious that for my level of fitness it's more than enough. So I am trying to strengthen my torso muscle on it, and hope that my back holds up.

I am, meanwhile, thinking of starting to do a bit of Yoga. Advice on places are very welcome. I am considering triyoga in Primrose hill.

America!

Kudos for electing a African-American President!

Pity he's not a liberal.

I was in Waterstones yesterday, the one near UCL in Gower Street, and I noticed they have moved SF/F Horror section, so I wandered around a bit to relocate it. I noticed on the "Reccomended by the Staff" shelf Jo Walton's book Tooth and Claw. I didn't think it had been published in the UK! In paperback!

All of you who haven't read it - it wouldn't be a bad idea to rush out and buy it. It's a really, really, REALLY great book.

I went to see Avatar and I loved it.

I haven't felt this exhilarated in a movie theatre since I was 10 and I went to see Star Wars. Intellectually, I hated Star Wars, I found it silly and simplistic, but that didn't stop me seeing it 10 times in a row, and I didn't feel there was that much contradiction between the two things either.

There are plenty of things in Avatar that are less than good. It is, yes, yet another story about a white male dude who gets to know another society. Despite this, there are better and worse instances of the type, and while Dances with Wolves is bad, The Last Samurai is way, way worse. Whereas The Man Called Horse wasn't bad, especially for those times.

Avatar is simplistic and preachy, but I loved it all the same, and I didn't feel so incredibly irked by it as I was by both Dances and The Last Samurai. It's also vastly more fun. It is also a movie about resistance and wonder. And there is the most touching scene of interspecies love that I have ever seen. Ok, I haven't seen many, but it is awesome all the same.

You know, on the whole cat breeders are people I like. They love cats, they care for them, and they never see them as ways to a prize.

But every time I see an extreme Persian I feel a strong urge to find whoever it was that thought a cat with a fur they can't keep clean and a face that will make them forever sneeze, wheeze and go around with snot and tears clinging to their nose and eyes, and kick their own noses in to show them how much fun it is.

I realize I might have to dig up their bones first, but still.

Persian cats have a wonderful temperament, they are loving and laid back, and when they are not extreme, they look stunning. But can't Persian breeders think of their health too, and start reversing the trend towards those squished in faces? Not only I find them horrible, they actually create a lot of problems for the poor cats.

Yesterday my shift at Mayhew was full of good news. For a long time it looked like there were cats there to stay - and not only the, er, problem cats, but perfectly lovely and beautiful creatures who would spend week after week looking forlornly out in search of human attention.

Yesterday a lot of them were gone - to a home of their own. Turkey, the cat whose owner had a stroke, big and soft and sad, found a new home. So did the black cat whose name I forget but who would dribble all over you in joy when you visited his cabin.

Jazz the small Irish kitten who had lost a front leg and was scampering about as if he had five of them, and his timid white sister Claire, also were no longer there.

Winter, the long-haired black cat left behind when her owner moved, didn't stay for long.

What's more, the cattery was full of "This cat is reserved" signs. Lucky, one of my favourite, an extremely active and vocal 18-yr old, is reserved. So are Pinky and Sooty, another pair of favourites of mine, inexplicably left on the shelf for a long time despite being stunningly beautiful and very loving (but, 11 yr old). So are a whole lot of black cats, who are usually overlooked: Bella, Brulee.

So yes - it's been a happy happy day.

Of course there are new arrivals - a pair of extremely sad Persian cats, one white one blue, who are affectionate and laid back as only Persian can be (you can usually manhandle a Persian to groom them, and they will do bloodcurling screams of the YOU ARE KILLING ME KILLING ME I TELL YOU variety but not turn into the hundred-razor terror that Jam, for example, can do so well). Another Persian named Oscar, a little thing who was very sad but now is getting grumpy.

And then there's the Three Cats in a Suitcase cabin - these are three extremely handsome and inquisitive mostly white with various patches cats, quite obviously a family, who were left in a suitcase at the reception. I assumes, since one of them was a lot bigger and older than the other two, who were obviously younger siblings, that it was a mother and kitten family.

But no - reading the sheet, the older cat is a male. So they are probably offsprings of the same mother cat, and their owner decided to keep her and get rid of the rest. Unless they spay her, of course, she's going to produce many many more.

They all have the Cabin Cat need for company - kittens are particularly vocal about it. They will climb on the wire on the upper part of the cabin and meow desperately for company, to calm down to a purring lump of warm fur once you are there and giving them enough attention.

Before you feel too heartbroken, there are many volunteers who do just that: after cleaning the cabins we spend a lot of time going from cabin to cabin calming down affection-deprived cats, and many others come in the afternoon to do more. It's not a one volunteer per cabin situation, but then most of them are content with an hour or so of human contact.

Through the StarTribune:


Dear Pat Robertson, I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll. You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract. Best, Satan

I come from earthquake country, but compared to what Haiti has gone through in its long and unbelievably miserable history, my own country devastation was nothing. I mean, at least in Friuli you get killed by a real house falling on you.

It doesn't help my mood that, as my friend Al Robertson has pointed out to me, we as the Western world are not exactly innocent of Haiti's plught. I have been aware of Haiti since I saw The comedians on tv in my childhood. It's a dreadful movie (and the novel also doesn't seem immune from White Man Saviour syndrome), but it did teach me what the Tonton Macoute were.

Anyway. My charity of choice, bar Emergency which acts out of Italy, is Medecins Sans Frontieres. Just sayin'.

And the pissed-off Elder Cat.

A more typical Jam pose. Note the internal struggle between wanting to stay put and get cuddles, and the instinct to bolt.

Here we are: new cat and new lens. Despite the fact that she looks like an emissary of infernal powers, she was actually purring full force here.

Ok, here we go:

Poll #1508549
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 71

I have

Well, my working theory was that pets, but cats in particular, are children substitutes. It's not a theory I particularly like, but I was thinking about my friends and I couldn't think of many who had both children and cats. In fact, I couldn't think of anybody who had both children and any pets, although I found that surprising.

So far, the data confirms my feeling: by far the largest category is cats and no babies, which makes up 48.1% of the total. There is no instance of people having dogs and no children!

So, let's have another poll:

(Duh, I got the poll wrong AGAIN!!!)

Of course there is the problem that in our class and age bracket we tend not to have children, for various reasons: sf fans are not awash in money and tend to marry late, and it could also be that we are in that generation that went from "every family has at least two or more children" to "not every family has children" that characterizes advanced industrial societies.

There is a rather sad factor that made me also consider the apparent non-compatibility of children and pets - I displaced a cat when I was born. My parents had a much beloved cat named Mina, and apparently she was not only jealous of me, but tended to want to sleep in my cot, and my mom was scared. They decided to find a new home for her and found what they thought was the ideal solution, a farm where she could roam out and be fed and cared for. But she pined, and ended up under a car only two months after she had been given away. My mom now tells me that in hindsight, they shouldn't have panicked, and it was probably more than possible to keep both Mina and me: but back then, they didn't know, where young and nervous. And if they had to pick one, they would pick me. Well, they would have to, wouldn't they. But I think they picked me out of choice. Which makes me glad, but also feeling very guilty.

As I said, I don't much like the idea that we use pets just as plugs for our needs. I would prefer to think that there is something else going on. For me, the immediate feeling of happiness and love I feel when I see a living creature is so strong and immediate that I'd rather put it down to a natural predisposition to empathy than just frustrated parental instinct.

But perhaps that is just two different ways of saying the same thing.

My psych tutor asked us to think of something we would like a psychological explanation for, and as I was walking towards the Mayhew I was musing on what determines animal-craziness or not in humans.

So I would like to gather some completely non-scientific data just to tell me if I can disprove my theory.

So, without ado:
Poll #1508334 Completely unscientific sampling
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 59

I have

Walked to the Mayhew this morning for my shift at the cattery. I seem to have been the only one to show up. The hoses had frozen but the inside cats were unfazed. The outside cats Did Not Approve of this wet stuff, and were sleeping in great multicat heaps in the heated room called Mao's Room.

Walking there I saw plenty of tracks that were not cat's, but were too small to be dogs, and were not accompanied by human tracks. Foxes. You really don't realize unless it snows how many of them there are and how much they roam the streets.

It snowed heavily all day but it didn't seem to be sticking, so I took the car to Sainsbury's. When I came out, the snow was most definitely sticking, and also, it turns out, finding its way through my roof in the computer room, to form puddles on the table.

It would been a much happier day if it hadn't ended like this.

The cats were sleeping on the bed close to each other, although Zip was radiating disapproval.

The Wii came with the most outrageously excessive example of overpackaging that I've seen in a long while. Everything was encased in plastic, wrapped in shaped cardboard, and THEN slotted into a larger containing box.

I decided to cancel my completely useless gym subscription and instead invest in a Wii, on the grounds that I'm more likely to do it if it's in my living room.

I have had it two days and I love it. Not only it rejuvenated me in the space of two days, going from the first body test (that, oh, unfortunately was not saved) at 53 to the one this morning at 35, but it lets me register both my cats as well. Unfortunately Jam isn't yet ready to be picked up, so I cheated and weighed Zip in her place. Maybe one day I will be able to weigh her...

The one thing that really annoys me is the inability to choose metric or imperial units. I have no idea what these stones and lbs, whatever they are, mean, nor do I want to learn. The UK has gone metric a long time ago. A lot of people can't reason in kilos, just as I can't in pounds, so LET US CHOOSE for fuck's sake.

Apart from that, if it could only synch an activity on music I choose I'd be the happiest chipmunk in the forest.