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And so
For people who don't read my FB - yes, me and Alex split up. I am back in my flat, with the cats. The cats seem a bit confused at the sudden shrinking of the garden and the absence of Big Human. Zip threw up a lot, but seems to have stopped now.
How am I doing? Not well. Really not well. There are people who are hurt and suffer for breakups, but my reaction seems to be full blown major depression. Not fun. And no matter how many times I've been there, and no matter that it has always got better, I am scared and the walls of the world are closing in on me and the light is fading.
My mom is coming up today, and my best friend Riccardo, bless him, who has endured through three of these breakups and still is by my side, will come up on the 11th. You know somebody loves you when they love you when you're down and no fun at all. I have lots of good friends like that, and I will need their help in the coming months.
This will be a difficult winter. Winter is never fun for me, and the coincidence of our relationship foundering on the onset of Autumn is such a ridiculous instance of pathetic fallacy that I would laugh if I wasn't so depressed.
I am not angry or resentful of Alex. Well, maybe a tiny bit, but even that is fading. We both tried very very hard. I care for him and I know he cares for me, even if he doesn't love me any more. Of this I have no doubt. And I have no doubt that he never wanted to hurt me. We just did not manage to find a way to love each other in a way that the other could receive.  

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Sad for you. Hugs.

I'm glad you hvae the friends you need.

Sorry to hear the news. &hugs>

Riccardo è un tesoro. And yes, depression is scary -- both because it's bad, and because it makes you scared. Do keep remembering that you'll get out of it, as you did before. It's one of those mythic things... the winter solstice festival, the sun goes away but then it comes back -- but it's a good idea to help it along. (And then if you like we can call you Persephone. But then again, maybe we can skip that bit.)

sciamanna said it better than I can. I was sorry to hear about the breakup. I don't do Facebook, apart from with very close family, so I'm glad you mentioned it here. I wouldn't have known otherwise.

I'm glad your mom and Riccardo will be able to visit to help you get through this.

Very sorry to hear it; will be thinking of you, and you know where to find me if talking to me would help. *hug*

Thinking of you. I'm sorry this is being so difficult.

Sympathies about the breakup.

As for depression in general, esp. SAD, have you tried a powerful light box? I have one that really helps me--just read in front of it for 15 minutes first thing in the morning. I find it's not the short days that get me, but the autumn days as they grow shorter.

I'm sorry.

If you need someone to talk to at odd hours, I'm in Seattle, which is eight hours time difference from London (GMT-7 on daylight saving time), so likely to be awake/available when people in Britain and Italy are asleep.

I'm sorry to hear about the breakup.

I am glad to see you posting here; this is the only place you and I intersect (that I know of), and I'd been wondering how you'd been doing. I wish you had better news to give.


I don't have Facebook, so I'm glad you posted here, even if I'm sorry to hear the news. Have another hug.

I'm sorry. It gets better with time. Hugs.

Like I said on FB, I'm sorry :(


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