annafdd

Yesterday I installed Skype for iPhone on my iPhone (natch) and it just totally rocks. I called my folks in Italy and the audio quality was finally excellent on their part as well, and I can now make flat-fee phone calls to Italy wherever I have a wi-fi connection - like any McDonalds.

This.Just.Rocks.

Anna is a very happy Anna.

Now if Anna could wake up she would be even happier... I tried taking my dose of modafinil all in one go in the morning instead of 100mg in the morning and a 100mg at noon. See how that goes. Usually if my arousal level reaches normality it stays there: it's just that it takes about 10 hours to get there.

Second day. Not as jittery as yesterday, but definitely awake. Had second cup of coffee out of habit, well knowing that it wasn't a good idea, but somehow avoided the willies. Congratulated myself on the fact that Modafinil is not making me pingpong off the wall any longer.

Went into kitchen for 12.30 dose. Found two doses in the pill dispenser instead of the expected one.

Uh-ho.

Ah the wonders of the placebo effect...

Had a bit of a problem going to sleep, but, alas, woke up after about four hours.

This is not news: for the past few months I have only been able to sleep about four hours at a stretch OR twelve hours. No middle ground.

This is largely a consequence of my brain being both very tired and very confused, so that after eight hours of sleep, when I woke up at about ten, it looked around, noticed the light, and said, right, Anna, daylight: time to go to bed. Which I did.

Variations where: it's four am! wake up Anna wake up! work to do! and: it's two pm! what day is it? wake up! Things to do! Oh, what do you mean you just went to bed?

If I hoped the modafinil would immediately switch me over to a healthy day/time schedule, well, it ain't so easy.

However, I am not completely shattered, and if I don't give in to the temptation to sleep in "to compensate" with a bit of luck I'll be able to go back to a normal sleep cycle in a few days. Right now I feel a bit sleepy but not too much.

I was so concentrated on getting my essay finished yesterday that I skipped lunch (bad) then had some food before going to the lesson (necessary), and then was ravenous late at night and nibbled some cheese biscuits. So now I'm hungry.

I think the wisest course is a cup of hot milk and back to bed for a bit, until 8 when my new dose is due.

Before Modafinil:

God, look at this pile of clothes. Oh God, isn't it disgusting. If only I wasn't so tired. Maybe tomorrow I will be able to tackle some of it. I wonder if my socks are in there. Probably, but I really, really can't keep my eyes open. I will look for them some other time. Meanwhile, let's shift some of this stuff over my feet to keep them warm.

After Modafinil:

I could easily sort that pile of clothes now. But I have to write my learning journal! and read up on Jung in Wikipedia! And I have a wonderful idea for a new story and half of it already written in my head!
I have no TIME for sorting out the pile of clothes!

(Kidding: I am not really manic: just very happy, and feeling like the Sleeping Beauty after she wakes up.)

Haven't been so awake in YEARS.

Second cup of coffee might have been a mistake.

I am pretty sure I once saw chipmunks in London - in that part of Hyde Park that it's not Hyde Park and that right now I can't for the life of me remember what it's called. Anybody can confirm that? Or was it a false memory? Or did they all commit suicide by throwing themselves under cars or diving into the Serpentine, this being highly intelligent and prudent animals, like?

Also - when I told my friends on the night shift that I was moving to the day but I might go back to the evening shift, they all expressed undying love and shining enthusiasm for the evening shift (20-04). My friend Marcelo, who is Spanish, said that it's the shift that allows you to go to sleep at 6am and sleep until midday, "as civil people ought to do".

So right now I'm conflicted. I asked to go on the day shift because I couldn't bear the haze of fatigue, but I deal pretty well with the unusual hours, and not having much of a social life to begin with, I wouldn't mind too much losing four nights out of seven - nights in which normal people go to sleep, anyway. And it would be a more natural sleep pattern for me - left to myself, that's what I tend to gravitate to.

But it IS still night shift works. I'd really like to hear people's experiences and expertise. Did anybody work the evening shift and how did they find it? I think life was easier for me, sleep-wise, when I was working ten to six anyway, but I did find the disruption of normal life a bit annoying - not being around when people did stuff and so on.

Took my first dose of Modafinil. Not alert and bushy tailed, exactly, but I AM awake. And for the first time in I don't remember when, I don't want to go back to sleep.

Could be placebo effect at this point, of course.